How it feels being around other kids? Holding them and thinking how would you look like at this age? Touching all the hair and all the small hands and feeling yours…I smell you in every towel, every shirt, every wind. There was a small lady of two years in love with me. She wouldn’t let go of me, and I couldn’t push her away. And I couldn’t hold her, because I was not holding her, I was holding you. I was closing my eyes and embracing you fully, like you were there. My torso and my stomach were tearing apart. My scar wants to open every time I see small ladies. How much I will love you forever!
I hate saying goodbye, because I can never properly say goodbye. I always believe there’s gonna be next time.
While I was pregnant we were planning bringing you in the spring to the road trip all over Italy. Visiting all the small villages and trying out the best food in the world so you would have tastiest milk ever.
Well, we are taking you anyway. And this is not a goodbye trip. We are bringing you home.