Even though I am already busy with some creative and interesting things to work on, from next week on I am supposed to go back to 9-5 work routine. It was my choice actually. I believe my brain works better when busy. However, after all events with Aurora, I decided not work because I have to ( I am also lucky to do so). After events with Aurora I decided to do something meaningful and to do something for her too. I am in doubt because I am not sure if I have chosen something that will not be repetitive. Repetitive and jobs without meaning are my deepest fear. We spend half our life working, no chance I am going to waste that time into something repetitive and socially insignificant.
Your mind changes a lot after you witness death on your arms. Your mind starts looking for explanations. Your mind starts questioning meaning of everything around. Yourself. Your work. Your position in society. Why are we ones left to live? There has to be something we have to do. Then you see how rotten is our society filled with filthy need to increase profits, to sell and buy, talking about helping those in needs but not doing anything. Stigmatising some events people go through, creating false picture of reality and terms we have to live in. I myself experienced thought of wanting to be a successful businesswoman. I studied hard, I worked hard, without knowing what am studying and what am I working for. What is the purpose behind? Life slapped me so hard when I lost Aurora. What kind of bullshit businesswoman are we talking about. Everyone wants to be successful, wants to have high position, wants to be someone. How cliche and useless is this thought! Why? You are going to die. You think someone will remember your contributions to your finance department, your more than average sales or your contribution to some processes? You think having more money will buy you happiness? Well, there will be always bigger yacht than yours. Now, if you see your purpose in doing this, please don’t mind me.
Since in Prague, I decided to go out and meet people. So far, I have met amazing people with ideas to change and contribute to our society. I even started cooperating with some of them. However, I am not sure I can fit anymore into routine. Actually, I am 100% sure I cannot. Now I know I need to like surrounding and people. Now I’m sure I need to find what I am doing meaningful and to be able to learn. So how can I fit to this 9-5?
There are two factors that attracted me to this company. 1 — It’s a very big marketing agency, an area I wanna learn and develop more in. 2 — People I met there were extraordinarily nice and smart. So I put hope in the company as well.
Hoping I have chosen good, I will for sure give my best. Hoping I will have time to work on my own ideas too. I am not in idea of being a successful businesswoman anymore. I don’t even know what it means. I am in idea to contributing to out society. Helping those who need. Creating ideas into deeds. I believe we have to start changing our mindset about how we work, what we work and what we wanna achieve with our life. Our individual choices have maybe not global impact, but connect millions of wrong individual choices and there you go!